heartaches

I had a nice weekend getaway with C. This is actually the second time he brought me to his hometown. I was happy to be with him and I admit that I am a little infatuated with him. He's nice, he's smells good and he's very attentive. Maybe, I thought, just maybe, he is not gay after all. He had a girlfriend before and maybe he is not "confused" anymore. I asked him about it and he said that those things shouldn't be asked in the first place if it was obvious. I wanted to cry right there and there. I kept on thinking how pathetic the situation is. I'm still hurt. Why is it hard for me? Other people fall in love and loved in return without any complication. I guess it is just not for me.