heartaches

I had a nice weekend getaway with C. This is actually the second time he brought me to his hometown. I was happy to be with him and I admit that I am a little infatuated with him. He's nice, he's smells good and he's very attentive. Maybe, I thought, just maybe, he is not gay after all. He had a girlfriend before and maybe he is not "confused" anymore. I asked him about it and he said that those things shouldn't be asked in the first place if it was obvious. I wanted to cry right there and there. I kept on thinking how pathetic the situation is. I'm still hurt. Why is it hard for me? Other people fall in love and loved in return without any complication. I guess it is just not for me.

Nap and get over it

There are times when you really hit rock bottom and you need friends to help you get over the loneliness you are feeling. However, one of the hardest truth you need to know is that the world will not stop just because you are crying. People move on and adults need to work. If you feel tired then rest. If you feel sad then cry. If you feel lonely then make yourself feel better. Sometimes it is better to lick your wounds with friend cheering on your back but sometimes you need to do it alone. Don't rely on other people for happiness, take charge of your life and pick yourself up.

The Ruins

The Taj Majal of the Philippines. Wealthy sugar baron Don Mariano Ledesma Lacson built the mansion in 1900′s for Maria Braga, his Portuguese wife. Love is eternal.

a friend in need is a friend indeed

I been feeling low these past few days. I'm sad because right now I'm officially all alone. My last roommate left for another job in another province. I feels like everybody is moving on while I'm still stuck here unsure of what to do next. The things I want before are not things that's in my priority list. It's funny because I used to decide what is best for me but now I have to consider a lot of things like my family. I'm torn between going back home and find a job locally or apply in universities abroad. I love my family more than anything and I'm sad that I'm not present during the important milestones in their life. I miss my mother and my sisters. But I can't let go of my dream of studying abroad. I would like to believe that I could do it given the opportunity. So I'm in this confused state and I don't have friends here with to tell it to. A beer would be good, especially if shared with a friend.

what is worse, kissing strangers or kissing friends?

What is worse, kissing strangers or kissing friends?

I have been in the two situations actually.

I'm actually a late bloomer. I had my first kiss at 24. It was not mind blowing, knees shaking thing. I actaully have to ask for it from someone who was kind enough to give it to me (another story). It was a gentle kiss, it was nice enough. It made me feel liberated. I'm not the girl who's never been kissed and giving kisses to others is not a big deal anymore since I "lost" already.

1. Kissing strangers. I met this guy and we had a few drinks. He was a few years younger than me and I do admit that I was flattered with the attention he's giving me. I went to the CR and somehow we ended up kissing. It was hot, I enjoyed a few minutes of it and I broke it off. That was the last night we went out.

2. Kissing friends. This guy has been my friend since elementary. We attended our high school friend's wedding, had a few moments alone and I kissed him, I think he kissed me back also. I don't really like him that much but somehow kssing him was good idea at that time. Of course I was embarassed the next day, it was awkward. I hope we can it out someday and be friends again.

I only kissed three guys. I'm hoping I'll experience kissing someone I love and experience that happy feeling afterwards just like in the movies.

saying goodbye

I always have a problem in saying goodbye, I can't go though it without crying. Graduation is already here and I'm sad to say here that I did not graduate (for a lot of reasons but mainly because I am too lazy to do my paper). I do have friends who graduated, their effort paid off. I am very happy for them, they look really good wearing barong, white blouse, and the ultimate accessory--sablay.

I wish them well. May the Lord bless them in their future endeavors and i hope that all the things they learned in the university will be applied and have an impact in our country.

Mabuhay ang Iskolar ng Bayan!

hello 2011

This is my first post for this year and I really don't know what to write here yet. So much has happened since my last post. 2010 ended and 2011 started. Let me just say that my 2010 was very much productive. I got another contract so i still have a job that I like and a boss who is very kind. I'm thankful that nothing bad happened to my family.

I got to travel to a lot of places and spent quality time with friends who really matter. April 2010, went to Sagada. July 2010, went to Maralison Island, Antique. Then went to Concepcion and Ajuy, visited and dove in Nogas Island, Antique. August 2010, climbed Negros highest peak, Mt. Kanlaon. I had a wonderful Christmas and New Year with my family and friends.

2011 started in Boracay. I love Ati-atihan, hopefully i'll be back again in 2012. I went back there again with Ate Fair last March. I appreciated the place even more, it's like you can be this young, sexy thing and don't care about the world but is just enjoying cold beer near the ocean. I will surely be back.

My goal for 2011 is to travel to Davao or Ilocos and hopefully use my passport for the first time.