episode II

the night she realized her feelings towards matt was night she crumbled. all her sensibilities flew out of the window, out of her soul. she went to bed with a headache. trying to deny it. hoping tomorrow everything will change. she entered her room smelling like beer. her roommate was awoken by her movements and asked her if she was okay. she replied yes. never been this great, she added silently.

she cannot sleep. damn those beers. damn those ciggies. damn me. she turned at the side of her bed and talked to her roommate. if she cannot sleep, nobody will. she asked her roommate about love. right now the girl was contently happy dating someone.

"why the sudden questions?"

"nothing."

"are you with matt?"

"yep."

"then you should tell him how you feel. let’s sleep, we have a quiz tomorrow."

"fuck!"

was i that obvious?? , she thought.

episode I

she was just an ordinary girl. she was nineteen. studying in a good university. have friends . she had a crush or two but nothing serious. she views relationship as a deep pit wherein you are not sure if you’ll get out alive and still in one piece. no, she was not cynical about love. she is just simply a realist. but her world began to crumble when she realized one day that for the first time she was hopelessly and totally in love.

matthew. he was a friend. a good friend in fact. they shared a lot together. from cases of beer to her very first cigarette. music to movies. and secretly they share the passion for the movie "my sassy girl" . they click together. somewhat a soulmate if you’ll put it in a cheesy way.

she cried when she realized the extent of her emotions towards him. she didn’t expect it. she doesnt need this kind of distraction. she was always a practical person. able to control her emotions. but that night she suddenly turned into a maudlin after two bottles of red horse.

23

this is a special day, 23 years ago a baby girl was born..ME! no special celebration, no people to hang out with, just like 2 years ago im going to celebrate it alone. i'm away with my family, and since pay day is next week might as well treat myself online. i'm going to check friendster, some friends remember some don't, that's ok. i don't know what i really feel today, truth is i feel empty. i'm 23 years old, i feel old and young at the same time. i'm just happy that God gave me another year to achieve my dreams, meet new friends, travel to different places and most of all, just LIVE.

God, thank you very much for this day. may i prove myself worthy of another year.

conquering mountains

i started a hobby just a month ago, i joined our outdoor club. the first activity is mountain climbing, we are having our minor climbs and the ultimate goal would Apo. the first mountain i climbed, Pico de Loro, Cavite. it was hard for a newbie like me, i consider myself fit but not fit and strong as the others who were already climbing mountains way way back. my account manager asked me if i can do it, i said yes, i'll see you at the top. at that moment, it was all talk, im thinking really hard if i indeed could do it. im too proud to back down now and so my journey began. i was wet with sweat and rain, my feet are cold and my back is aching. i can feel the heat coming out of my body and my troat is as dry as Sahara. i don't wanna back down, i'm a mermaid who is trying to conquer mountains. walk and crawl, never thought the day would come that i will do both but i did.

the summit view was worth it..and more. i was on top of a mountain, what more can be exciting than standing on top of a mountain. im humbled by the thought that im a small creature on top of a gigantic object. there i was, admiring God's perfect work. a book i read said that the men like to be on top of mountains. it gives a sense of power, the knowledge that you above everyone and everything else. i felt humbled and proud.

the people that im with, it was our first time be together. different background, age, sex. and yet we are united with one single goal, to climb a mountain. climb mountains for a lot of reasons, to forget, to remember, to live, to be happy.. but most of all to learn. learn our inner strenght, be solid as rock, be tall as a mountain.

kiss

"For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything."

-Dr. Alex Karev, Grey's Anatomy

stuck

yeah.. 3..4 years is a lot of time to move on and forget you. everything was clear from the start. just like an old Jets song, "i loved you, you didn't feel the same.."

if you'll just realize..

Take time to realize

That I am on your side

Didn't I, didn't I tell you

Take time to realize

That your warmth is

Crashing down on in

But I can't spell it out for you

No it's never gonna be that simple

No I can't spell it out for you

If you just realize

What I just realized

Then we'd be perfect for each other

And we'll never find another

Just realizeWhat I just realized

We'd never have to wonder

If we missed out on each other, now

Take time to realizeOh oh,

I'm on your side

Didn't I, didn't I tell you

Take time to realize

This all could pass you by

Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you

No it's never gonna be that simple

No I can't spell it out for you

If you just realize

What I just realized

Then we'd be perfect for each other

And we'll never find another

Just realizeWhat I just realized

We'd never have to wonder

If we missed out on each other, but

It's not the same

No it's never the same

If you don't feel it too

If you meet me half way

If you would meet me half way

It could be the same for you

If you just realize

What I just realized

Then we'd be perfect for each other

And we'll never find another

Just realize

What I just realized

We'd never have to wonder

Just realize

What I just realized

If you just realize

What I just realized

Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Missed out on each other now

Missed out on each other now-ow-ow-ow

Realize, realize, realize, realize, realizeOhhh oh